Doing your inner work is often a buzzword in this healing/therapy side of the world. Here’s a quick digestible How-To to get you started in it, whether it’s your very first time or you’re a seasoned introspective person. This list of steps will assist you in getting the most out of your high-quality me-time.
Step One: Set aside QUALITY, uninterrupted, and undistracted time
That means, scheduling it in your calendar if you must. Send the kiddos to your mom’s if you must. Set aside at least 20 minutes at best an hour or two. Set yourself on a date to be with yourself by yourself. On the days I feel stuck, I allow myself a mental health day and I let myself sink into it. (Typically on the days of my bleed or leading up to it because if you follow me you must know that I operate out of the wisdom of my inner map *my cycles*)
Step 2: Set the vibe
Light a candle, put on some relaxing piano music, and get out your favorite notebook and pen. Do anything to have you feel safe as you are alone with yourself. The environment in which you intend to open up can be somewhat controlled. So allow yourself to do that. I promise that you are worth all the effort. 🙂
Step 3: Set the intention to sit with your emotions and to let go
Whether your intention is to do regular routine emotional purging or you’ve run up against a block, or you’re just sick and tired of hearing your own nagging thoughts, inner work is a tool to discover yourself in a new way through the lens of compassion and love. If you come into this thinking it won’t give you relief then it won’t. You must set the tone of how this date of yours will go. Taking the time and effort to set the intention of letting go of any old belief/value system that’s no longer needed will give you a solid foundation of how this time with yourself will go.
Step 4: Start writing
Start writing anything. Start releasing the thoughts that have been circulating in your mind and leave them on the page. Voices will come up. Write them down. Let them go. and keep it going until you find relief. Trust the whatever’s that needed to be said from your heart will eventually come up, typically right after all the judgments. You’ll find that as soon as you write something down, the voice of reason and the voice of intuition will start to be distinctly different. 🙂 here’s where you DO NOT STOP. Milk it.
Step 5: DO NOT get up and distract yourself, give yourself the attention and grace that you deserve
You must be able to truly sit there and give yourself the space to say and face all the nasty and ugly things you’ve been judging yourself with. Why? because would you walk away from your best friend or your daughter if they start venting and spilling out their deepest fears and pain? I know you wouldn’t. So what would you do instead? You sit and listen for them. So you are going to be doing that for yourself. Tears may come and don’t be afraid of them. Welcome them. Embrace them. Embrace yourself with them.
Bonus Points: Get in front of a mirror if you can.
Mirrorwork has gotten me straight to the core of my problems. When you put yourself in front of a mirror you’re forced to look at your beautiful face and to look at all the mean things you’ve said about yourself. You’re forced to see all the things your mind made up that no longer fit. Mirrorwork forces the inner conflict to arise and thus grants the opportunity for forgiveness of the ego. It will also give you the opportunity for grace and acknowledgement.
Acknowledgement from self is your own truest gift that you can have for setting yourself free from the entrapment of the world and society has placed on you. And if you do this long enough you’ll feel the safety of your own reflection because beneath all of the junk and lies you’ve been inherit-ly imposing on yourself, there’s you. Your truest most powerful and purest version of you. The one that’s wise and has called you to the inner work. The you that is smart enough to know that you are bigger than what you’re letting yourself off the hook for/ for what you’re settling for/ for what you’re tolerating. That YOU. She’s in there. I can’t wait for you to spend more time with her. 🙂
Please let me know how this goes for you. Reach me at my email hello@sparklebychoice.com or DM on IG @sparklebychoice
